A Series of Unfortunate Recipes: The Bland Beginning — Adventure Kitchen (2024)

This week we begin at The Bad Beginning by making Puttanesca Sauce. If you are not currently toiling in the kitchen of an evil villain, you may enjoy making some yourself.

Tomatoes, capers, anchovies, roasted garlic and kalamata olives make a deliciously complex sauce for pasta.

This week, we have pudding. And chocolate. And chocolate pudding. And Julia Child. And many more words, most of which are too unpleasant to read.

Chocolate pudding with a hint of chile and cinnamon for a delicious twist. Perfect for any Mexican celebration, or anytime you're in the mood to take chocolate in an interesting new direction.

Super chocolate-y, decadent pudding. Sure, you can serve it to the kids. If you can keep yourself from eating it all first.

This week we endure a tragic lack of taste, intemperate environmentalists, and superfluous synonyms. We then enjoy a delicious chicken dinner, which is how you can tell Mrs. Poe is not doing the cooking.

Chicken thighs and potatoes, poached in a white wine herb broth with a hint of lemon.

Simple green beans, sauteed with onions and garlic.

This week we avoid cannibals and reveal an evil plot to destroy breakfast.

Coconutty rolled oats topped with blueberries and bananas make for one of the most delicious (and healthiest) ways to start your day. Best of all, it cooks in 5 minutes.

Nubby steel-cut oats spiked with cinnamon, drizzled with maple syrup, and topped with fruit and nuts of your choice.

This week, all is not as it appears to be, and Sunny tells it like it is. And there's cupcakes.

Cupcakes tinted pink with fresh raspberry puree, with a berry special surprise inside.Frost with Lemony-Basil Buttercreamor frosting of your choice.

Assuming you are neither treacherous nor incompetent, you may enjoy a slice of Uncle Monty's coconut cream cake this week.

Creamy, coconutty layer cake, with coconut cream cheese frosting. Once they taste this, people will beg you to make it for them. (Fair warning.)

This week we contemplate a conundrum wrapped in a potsticker, and many other mysteries. Without solving any of them.

Potstickers served with Sriracha sauce and Hoisin sauce. Plus, how to make Asian meatballs with the extra filling!

This week we find a desperate message from Lake Lachrymose in the off season.

Cool as a cucumber, with a hint of mint and the slightest tang of yogurt. Blessedly refreshing, with no cooking required. Perfect on a hot summer day.

This week we contemplate serious grammatical errors, fried zucchini, and a bear who can't take a joke.

Golden-fried zucchini spears served with a savory marinara dipping sauce.

This week, I cannot bear to tell you what happened at cooking school. And a decent person like you should be spending your time at a nicer website anyway.

One of the quickest and simplest ways to make a truly nice dinner, any night of the week.

This week, you can't judge a website by its cover, because it doesn't have one. Plus, what to eat while hiding in a cave.

A simple ground beef and macaroni casserole Infused with the flavors of the Sonoran Desert, topped with melty cheese and the crunch of breadcrumbs.

In this penultimate post, we use advanced culinary analytics to assess Charles'omelette making techniques, and consider the side effects of hypnosis.

A pillowy little bundle of creamy eggs encased in a soft eggy shell. It's a great way to use up leftovers, and it’s a meal that’s ready in 3 minutes flat. (Plus, so delicious you just can't stop eating it.)

A desperate letter from boarding school. Remember, you are my last hope that delicious food can again be enjoyed by the general public.

Dark and white chocolate layered with the subtle salty crunch of pretzel crisps and spiked with peppermint.